by Joan Mitchell, CSJ
With the month of May graduations and goodbyes begin. Some friends one never sees again. Some walk with us in our lives forever.
At graduations seniors are usually more than ready to leave high school. Adulthood glimmers on the horizon. Of course, we will miss the kids in the band, the lacrosse team, the calculus survivors, the cast of the musical. Next steps into college, jobs, or the armed services inevitably stretch the bonds we form in our teens — unless we are among those who find the perfect partner for life early.
I worked in food service at St. Catherine University and worked graduation at the end of my first year. The pomp and colorful academic regalia made me really want to graduate. But no way did I realize how tough the goodbyes would be four years later. Some of these woman have remained lifelong friends, but on graduation day no one knows how the bonds we share will last.
Graduation still stirs me. Flags from nations around the world fly at the edges of the quad. The music starts, the faculty lead a march to the auditorium. Two by two hundreds of graduates stream down the sidewalks. Parents and family watch for their own. Two hours later it’s all over and friends scatter around the globe. The event jams congratulations and goodbye together.
Leave taking is a part of caring about those we love. Parents fly across the continent to take leave of sons and daughters when they finish basic training and ship out for months. Hugs have to store up presence for the long absences ahead.
Ultimately we face final leave takings as Jesus does in Sunday’s gospel. Often the words we exchange in these moments become words we live from into the future. We commit to care for those left behind. We say a final, “I love you.” My mom told my dad near her death, “You can do it,” continue caring for us all.
In John’s gospel, and only in this gospel, Jesus shares a long leave-taking with his disciples. It begins in John 13.31 after Judas leaves the room where they are gathered for the last supper. It continues for four chapters.
Jesus anticipates his absence and comforts his disciples. “Don’t let your hearts be troubled,” he says. He and the Father will be at home in those who live the words he leaves them.
- What parting moments and words do you treasure in your memory?