Love is a verb and a sacrament. Changing a diaper is an act of love. Helping a child take first steps, practicing spelling words, baiting hooks, soothing angers, shooting hoops together, attending recitals and plays, affirming gifts — all these loving actions continue the human growth process that starts in the womb. These self-giving actions make visible the bond between parent and child.
Christian churches bless marriage as a sacrament. A couple expresses their love for each other in vows that commit them to a lasting relationship. Their commitment makes visible what we all know — that we live and grow in our shared relationships. Two people’s day by day, self-giving love for each other makes visible the self-gifting energy in which we live, move, and have our being.
We humans can give of ourselves to others. We can communicate and open up about who we are, even though we always remain mystery even to ourselves. We are social beings. In our intimate relationships we in a sense create each other. We let others know us and share who we are with them. In being known we recognize ourselves. In loving and being loved, we flourish.
Marriage recognizes love as a sacrament. Friendship is a sacrament, too. In fact in Sunday’s gospel, Jesus identifies his disciples as friends, as people whom he loves. His disciples are not slaves to a master but friends as intimate as family. Beloving a friend is believing in the person. A friend is an equal, capable of returning love for love, of treasuring the gift each is to the other, sharing laughs, sharing pain.
Some people think disciple is a stronger word for our relationship with Jesus than friend. In John’s gospel Jesus calls his followers friends, people for whom he lays down his life.
- Whose friendship is life-giving for you?