Hard to Forgive

by Bob Bartlett

“So, Mrs. C,” Derek asked, “I can’t even help the committee set up the gym for homecoming?”

You are suspended for two weeks from all student activities, just as members of our sports teams are,” Mrs. C replied.

But players on the sports teams still practice,” Derek argued. “They just can’t play in the games.”

“Good point,” Mrs. C said. “You’re the first student council president ever caught drinking. I want to be fair.”

Rub it in, Derek thought. He stared at his shoes and then down the shiny hallway, shimmering like a mirage all the way to the gym.

“You can help today. I’ll get back to you about the rest of the week. You cannot attend the homecoming rally, game, or dance.” Mrs. C walked into her office.

The gym swarmed with activity. People on stepladders were hanging decorations. The artists were painting posters. Three guys and a girl were putting the platform for the DJ into place.

Margaret, the student council vice president, stood in the middle of the gym directing traffic. She noticed Derek as soon as he started walking into the gym.

“Mrs. C sent me to help,” Derek said. “Where can I start?”

“Mrs. C sent you down? I don’t think so,” said Margaret, staring at Derek suspiciously.

“She says I can help today,” Derek said, returning the stare. “She’s thinking about the rest of the week.”

Margaret looked away. “Everybody loves the theme,” she said.

“Thanks,” Derek said, scanning the gym for a place to start helping.

“Hook up two microphones and put speakers in each corner.”

“I’m on it,” Derek said, hurrying away from Margaret’s heated stare. It could melt glaciers, he thought, as he started laying out the first cord. It felt great to be doing something.

Margaret followed. “I’m really angry with you,” she said.

Derek felt his neck and shoulders tighten.

“Were you drinking at the party?” she asked.

“Yes, I was.”

“That was stupid,” Margaret countered. “Every one of us on the student council agreed not to drink or use drugs. It was your idea. We took a pledge together as friends not to use. It was our code.”

Derek couldn’t help looking around to see who might be overhearing Margaret’s words. He saw his friend Anthony walking toward them.

“You let us down. September isn’t over and the student council president makes a big joke of it to the rest of the school and a big joke of us.” Margaret ended.

“Lots of kids party,” Anthony said as he walked by with a poster.

“Exactly,” said Margaret. “We wanted to send a message that not everybody drinks, that we, the leaders in the school, have a good time without it. Ironic, isn’t it?”

Derek felt his entire body temperature rising. He wanted to scream I’m sorry right in Margaret’s face, but he knew if he said one word, he would explode and say something stupid. He had to give her credit. At least she wasn’t tip-toeing around it like everybody else.

“I’m disappointed,” Margaret said in a quiet voice. “This really meant something to the rest of us but obviously not to you.”

“It meant something to me,” Derek said.

“How can we trust you after this? We may have to ask for your removal.” Margaret walked quickly back to the center of the gym.

That’s in the open, Derek thought. He set up one stand for the DJ’s mike and another where Margaret could take his place and welcome everyone to the dance. He didn’t notice Diane walking over until she spoke.

“Margaret feels betrayed.”

Derek nodded as he put the mic on the stand.

“Did you drink?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“How much?”

“I had a beer,” Derek answered.

“Just one? I heard you were totally wasted,” said Diane.

“I was down on the floor puking my guts out. Believe what you want. Right now it might as well have been a whole keg.” He set the final mic on the platform. “Just one,” he resumed when Diane seemed interested. “I started drinking a can and remembered the pledge we took last spring. I figured I had to honor it.”

“What happened?” Diane asked.

“I’m not sure.” He sat down on the gym floor. “I think Rick’s neighbors called the cops. Matt was wasted and decided to use their flowers as a bathroom.”

“And you got caught,” Diane said.

“Margaret’s right. It was stupid.”

“Yeah,” Diane responded.

“And right now two kids are sitting out the soccer season for drinking last summer, and three guys from football, so Mrs. C is not about to cut me any slack, and she shouldn’t.”

“Everyone is really hyped about homecoming week,” said Diane, changing the subject. “I think more than any year since I’ve been here. Good job.”

“Thanks,” Derek said.

“Are you coming?” she asked.

“Can’t. Homecoming happens during my two weeks in exile.”

“That’s too bad. Maybe we can make the Thanksgiving dance even more fun.”

“Margaret may ask for my removal,” said Derek.

“I can’t run an election right in the middle of the school year.” Diane threw her hands in the air. “I don’t have time.”

“Thanks,” said Derek. “But I see her point. I crossed a line we drew together. I let down my friends and myself. It’s hard to forgive.”

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